💡 5. “How to Love Without Losing Yourself”

pvdbovenkamp
Jul 10
2 min read

💡 The Art of Loving Fully — While Staying You

“Love is not about becoming theirs.It’s about becoming more of yourself — with them beside you.”

🧠 The Old Story

For a long time, I thought love was sacrifice.

Give more.

Bend more.

Shrink if you have to, push through boundaries — as long as they stay.

That’s what I saw growing up.

That’s what many of us were taught:If you love someone, you put them first. Even if it costs you yourself.

But that isn’t love. That’s abandonment dressed up as devotion.

⚖️ Real Love Has Balance

Yes, love takes effort.

Yes, we grow through it.

But love that costs you your peace, your purpose, or your self-worth?

That’s not love.That’s a lesson.

And listen… when you do feel that you want to truly give your partner priority — because it comes from your heart — then that is beautiful. That is sacred.

But when you find yourself constantly giving someone else priority in ways that feel forced, heavy, or out of alignment…Pause.

You have to be conscious of what you're doing, and what does or doesn't belong to you in that moment.

Do what feels right for you. Not out of fear. Not out of survival. Not out of pressure. But out of truth.

I’m not here to tell you what’s right or wrong.I just want you to be more aware in certain situations.Just for you. Because you are beautiful, exactly as you are.

🪜 The Mirror of Self-Loss

In some relationships,

I was so focused on the “we” that I forgot the “me.”

I stopped doing what I loved.

Let go of my own boundaries.

Changed how I spoke, walked, lived… just to keep the peace.

And in the end?

I wasn’t even sure who I was anymore.

🧬 Loving Without Losing

So how do you love deeply… without disappearing?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Keep your routines & rituals — they are anchors to your essence.
Speak your truth, even when it shakes things.
Don’t apologize for your needs. They are sacred.
Remember: you are not responsible for how others receive your wholeness.
Love with someone — not through them.

💥 You Are Not a Half

You are not a missing piece waiting for completion.

You are not a wound waiting to be healed by another.

You are a whole field of love — walking.

And when two whole people come together?

They don’t drain.They amplify.

💬 Final Message for Love Week

If this week has shown you anything,

let it be this:

You are not too much. You don’t have to shrink. You are worthy of a love that celebrates your entire being.

So love bravely.

Love clearly.

Love with presence.

But never again love in a way that costs you yourself.

You are the love.

Much Love 💛